Being ME!
Hi again, so I'm not too sure how often I will be writing on here. I know for sure it'll differ from week to week, but I kind of want to commit to posting at least 2-3 times a week.
Cool, now let's get to the good stuff.
We often think that as years go by and we age, we slowly become comfortable with who we are and everything that we are. Sadly, I do not feel that way at all. As of now I am 20 years old and feel just like the Pug pictured above. I googled comfortable and that came up, which was a tad bit weird considering that the doggy is probably not comfortable, but it brought me comfort. Being wrapped up in a blanket regardless of my location is just how I want to me all the time. I hate the idea of eyes being on me or even trying something that is completely out of my comfort zone. As a future teacher, I sometimes think of how young children are so pure and never really think of comfort in that sense or even care that eyes are on them. Where did we go wrong? Where did we make it such a big deal to not be comfortable with who we are?
I want to change this, I want to be able to be happy with everything that it means to be me and be completely comfortable with myself. I like being who I am, I enjoy smiling at random people who most of the time don't even smile back. I like being happy for no reason. Sometimes I feel so judged and looked down for being the upbeat person that I sometimes can be. And for the days that I tend to fall down, I want to feel like it's only temporary and that soon I'll be happy again.
Although there is a lot about me that I love, there are also lots that I feel can change for the better and can help with this whole comfort thing.
I recently had a conversation with someone. Someone who is not exactly near and dear to my heart, but they sure are close to being there. This is a person that I somewhat look up to. We talked about faith and doing everything in His name. Now, I know this is how it should be and it is something that I really want to try to do, but it is quite the change that is difficult to make. The way they were going about this conversation though, is something that made me quite uncomfortable. They want me to be a person that I am not and probably will never be. The way they went about this conversation made me feel like I didn't know anything about God. As if I didn't know about His great love and mercy. At first, this made me feel so upset and even angry at some point. Several days have passed since the conversation and now I realize that I am upset with myself. Upset because they are right! Upset because it had to take someone else to point it out to me for me to realize that a change needs to be made. They are absolutely right! (well with almost everything that they were saying.) And it's crazy to think that He works in such ways. He "uses" people who are so close to Him to help spread His love to those who are in need of it or need their eyes opened.
I know you're probably thinking, "What they heck does this have to do with being me and being comfortable?!?" Well, it has everything with being me and being comfortable. I have been so uneasy about myself because I often fail to realize that I am created in His image. I am an instrument of His love and peace. For me, this didn't click until today. Today Pope Francis posted a video on his Instagram page and wow it hit me like a rock!!
"Let us never forget that our joy is in Jesus Christ, that His love is faithful and inexhaustible. For when a Christian is sad, it means that he has moved away from Jesus. At such times, do not leave it alone. We must offer him Christian hope; By our words certainly, but more so by our testimony, by our freedom, by our joy. Let us pray for our brothers and sisters who have moved away from the faith, so that they can rediscover, through our prayer and our Gospel, the beauty of the Christian life."
In a way, this person was telling me the exact same thing! And if I want to be content with myself, if I want to be happy, if I want to be comfortable with all aspects of myself, then I should forget everyone else and be happy with what God has given me.
Dear God, I know you are listening, thank you, Lord, for everything that you have given me, for everything you don't, and for everything you continue to give me. I promise to live by Your word and live with joy because You are in me.
Amen.
Cool, now let's get to the good stuff.
We often think that as years go by and we age, we slowly become comfortable with who we are and everything that we are. Sadly, I do not feel that way at all. As of now I am 20 years old and feel just like the Pug pictured above. I googled comfortable and that came up, which was a tad bit weird considering that the doggy is probably not comfortable, but it brought me comfort. Being wrapped up in a blanket regardless of my location is just how I want to me all the time. I hate the idea of eyes being on me or even trying something that is completely out of my comfort zone. As a future teacher, I sometimes think of how young children are so pure and never really think of comfort in that sense or even care that eyes are on them. Where did we go wrong? Where did we make it such a big deal to not be comfortable with who we are?
I want to change this, I want to be able to be happy with everything that it means to be me and be completely comfortable with myself. I like being who I am, I enjoy smiling at random people who most of the time don't even smile back. I like being happy for no reason. Sometimes I feel so judged and looked down for being the upbeat person that I sometimes can be. And for the days that I tend to fall down, I want to feel like it's only temporary and that soon I'll be happy again.
Although there is a lot about me that I love, there are also lots that I feel can change for the better and can help with this whole comfort thing.
I recently had a conversation with someone. Someone who is not exactly near and dear to my heart, but they sure are close to being there. This is a person that I somewhat look up to. We talked about faith and doing everything in His name. Now, I know this is how it should be and it is something that I really want to try to do, but it is quite the change that is difficult to make. The way they were going about this conversation though, is something that made me quite uncomfortable. They want me to be a person that I am not and probably will never be. The way they went about this conversation made me feel like I didn't know anything about God. As if I didn't know about His great love and mercy. At first, this made me feel so upset and even angry at some point. Several days have passed since the conversation and now I realize that I am upset with myself. Upset because they are right! Upset because it had to take someone else to point it out to me for me to realize that a change needs to be made. They are absolutely right! (well with almost everything that they were saying.) And it's crazy to think that He works in such ways. He "uses" people who are so close to Him to help spread His love to those who are in need of it or need their eyes opened.
I know you're probably thinking, "What they heck does this have to do with being me and being comfortable?!?" Well, it has everything with being me and being comfortable. I have been so uneasy about myself because I often fail to realize that I am created in His image. I am an instrument of His love and peace. For me, this didn't click until today. Today Pope Francis posted a video on his Instagram page and wow it hit me like a rock!!
"Let us never forget that our joy is in Jesus Christ, that His love is faithful and inexhaustible. For when a Christian is sad, it means that he has moved away from Jesus. At such times, do not leave it alone. We must offer him Christian hope; By our words certainly, but more so by our testimony, by our freedom, by our joy. Let us pray for our brothers and sisters who have moved away from the faith, so that they can rediscover, through our prayer and our Gospel, the beauty of the Christian life."
In a way, this person was telling me the exact same thing! And if I want to be content with myself, if I want to be happy, if I want to be comfortable with all aspects of myself, then I should forget everyone else and be happy with what God has given me.
Dear God, I know you are listening, thank you, Lord, for everything that you have given me, for everything you don't, and for everything you continue to give me. I promise to live by Your word and live with joy because You are in me.
Amen.
Vayan con Dios Amigos,
xoxo Lili
Comments
Post a Comment